Sorry for my lack of reflections in the last while. it's not that I have not had reflections, it's simply that I haven't had the time or energy to write them down.
To be honest the last few weeks have felt like an ongoing test of not only my sanity but most importantly my loyalty to these boys. After a few weeks straight of the boys acting really spoilt and ungrateful- a side effect of them not being used to getting things so easily slip back into this frustrating a role of "entitlement" instead of their usual "gratitude". At times it became so hard to believe these were the same boys that called me 6 months ago and asked me to come and help them... They were replaced by a version that I no longer recognised. And I won't lie when I say that it took all my strength to not be discouraged by the cold hearted cruelty I was receiving...to instead remember that through it all lay the same caring, loving, kids that I have known all these years...I just had to find a way to awaken that side of them again.
My loyalty to these kids was definitely tested when amidst this week of feeling hurt and disappointed with them I had a routine visit to the regional DHS, in a city a gruelling 4 hour away. This lovely department woman made the unfortunate mistake of telling me that she needed to remove the boys from our care for the next few months, until our registration was complete. She had no idea what she was unleashing within me... The kind soft spoken tourist that was seated in front of her was replaced by a tigress ready to fight for these boys. I even surprised my self with the loyalty within me to these boys, even despite the number of times I had questioned my decisions in the previous weeks, I was NOT ready to let anyone displace these boys any further. No body was going to undo all the effort gone into helping these boys heal and move forward over the last few months... And NO body was going to separate them from each other on my watch. Once again I found my self having to draw on all my professional expertise to talking the department into backing down. For me it took coming close to loosing these boys to realise that despite how they were behaving I care enough about them to not give up on them just because they are behaving badly. Family don't give up on each other- plus they probably need me more now than before.
Despite the trials of the last few weeks All systems have been geared towards enrolling EVERY SINGLE boy into school for the first time since they were placed into the orphanage system. Most of the boys have so many gaps in their education and are far behind their age group...BUT they all have a burning desire to LEARN and make it through the education system. The staff have been incredible negotiating and finding the appropriate education placement for each of the boys. Once those were found our days were dictated by trying to fulfil the back to school shopping lists of 7 boys, finding tailors to make the mountain of uniforms we need, getting them into a new daily routine so that they would be prepared for the early starts to the day that come with the reopening of school. I never realised until now just how many things need to be prepared just to return to school and that "back to school rush" is a nightmare. The boys for the first time have had ALL the items on their school lists... I've never seen kids so exited about going to school.
Five of our boys started school this week, the remaining two will start a training course in a few weeks time (they run on a different timetable to schools). Our day begins with me waking up at 4am to put the rice on to cook. I then have to wake the boys up by 5am so that they can cook, shower, do their chores, eat breakfast, pack lunch and be out of the door by 6:30 am (Classes start at 7:30am). I have come to learn that alarm clocks are nothing but a useless piece of decoration when a house full of teenage boys are concerned. You are probably familiar with that image of teenagers hitting snooze repeatedly to get just a few more minutes of sleep...well now picture that image with 4 teenage boys in a room; most day I can't even locate the poor clock that despite the racket it is creating has been failing to wake the occupants for the past 15 minutes.
Once everyone is out the door the day is mostly quiet with the staggered return of kids for lunch break or free time from college. Evenings are once again a din as we have only a few precious hours within which we have to get chores done, cook and consume dinner, do homework, prepare the items required for project the next day (this seems to be a ridiculous process of buying little bits and pieces EVERY SINGLE DAY), all before finally getting to bed. I sure did not know what I was signing up for when I agreed to fill in as night time houseparents for the time I was here. I now find myself sitting down with 5 boys individually to do their assigned homework every night.. for most this is the fist time they have bothered to do any of the homework that was set for them, let alone the first time they have had someone take the initiative to sit with them while they did said homework. I also have to find make sure that the two that aren't in classes yet aren't left out, so I set homework...yes you heard right, Niru sets homework! Today's homework was a 45 minute game of boggle for all the boys that were done with their school assignments for the night. Tomorrow it will be a few games of scrabble and some creative story writing for the two boys at home- again I haven't seem two kids more excited about having homework too :P
Now that I'm certain that I would fight tooth and nail for these boys even despite their ability to sometimes get under my skin with their behaviour... Things in the house are improving again. We are having more and more good days again where things are like the old days again and the room is filled with laughter and happiness. And everything else like the nagging, the tantrums and general selfishness...well I'll just put that down to teenage hormones and more importantly a sign that they are settling in enough to have "Normal" teenage problems as opposed to the conflict they have been used to.
In other news, I have invested in a bike we call Bullet (mostly because that was the name on the sticker)...but unfortunately with 8 of us sharing this el-cheapo set of wheels, we seem to spend more time at the mechanics having little bullet fixed than not. The bright side we know know more of the locals whom we wouldn't otherwise have gotten to know. Hopefully my wheels will allow me some freedom to explore this city further now that the kids are away at school during the day. We have also found a local gym so hopefully my own health and fitness picks up and I can transition easily back onto the hockey field in a few weeks. I have really missed playing hockey; getting to run my heart out and hit a ball with all my strength are the two best stress relief techniques in the world :) I can't believe that in just 4 weeks I will get to go home. In four weeks I would have achieved all that I came here to do...In 4 weeks the boys should finally be at a place where they will no longer need me here with them... And I can once again return to my "normal" world. How strange that all sounds. But I guess that is a bridge I can cross when I come to it.
